What does Self Care really mean?
In this episode, we discuss what self-care is, how to separate real self-care from merely "keeping up appearances" and why we really must make the effort to put ourselves first.
It's all too easy to confuse taking care of ourselves with looking like we've got our lives together. We may confuse keeping up appearances like looking tidy and well, with actually taking care of ourselves, which unfortunately is often a little more time consuming than wearing fashionable clothes or never forgetting to brush our hair.
Anne Lamott in her TED talk : Twelve truths I learned from life and writing, noted that "Everyone is screwed-up, broken, clingy and scared. Even the people who seem to have it most together. They're much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides, it will only make you worse than you already are…"
How can we make it real and not just appear to the untrained eye as though we've been taken care of? Anne Lamott makes another very important point, she also said in this talk: "Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes, Including you". How do you unplug yourself for a few minutes? Well… It starts by putting your oxygen mask on first. If you show up in the world as your best self, the impact you make on the people and the world around you is incredible. When you shine you can truly inspire those around you to do the same. If you're a parent, you want to show your children the way to be their best selves, and the best way to teach is by example. If you're tired, sad and upset you won't be the parent you want to be, you won't perform the way you'd like to perform
How do you unplug yourself for a few minutes? Well… It starts by putting your oxygen mask on yourself first.
If you show up in the world as your best self, the impact you make on the people and the world around you is incredible. When you shine you can truly inspire those around you to do the same. If you're a parent, you want to show your children the way to be their best selves, and the best way to teach is by example. If you're tired, sad and upset you won't be the parent you want to be, you won't perform the way you'd like to perform, be this in any aspect of your life.
You have got to start by caring for yourself and then care for others. Taking time to appreciate and respect yourself, means all the other bags you're carrying will feel lighter. You need to be the best you can for yourself, so you can be the best you can for others, and that's not being selfish, it's just putting equal emphasis on your needs as you do on the needs of others.
So here are the steps we discussed in the episode:
1. Eat! Seriously, make sure you're eating well. It may sound silly, but first of all when you don't eat you get hangry. No one likes that person. But also, nourishing your body is the first most obvious way to make yourself feel better physically. So take the time to eat. No matter how busy you are, you shouldn't be working through your lunches.
2. Fun! Take time, at least once a week, to do something fun. Anything you consider to be fun counts. Walk. Dance. Take a class. Paint. Meet friends. Go on a date. Get your nails done. Anything at all that excites you and puts a smile on your face counts!
3. Ask for help. Vent. If you don't ask for help, if you don't verbalise what it is that you need, no one will ever be able to offer you the help you need. Talking through your emotions helps you work through them.
4. Share! Share what you're going through with the people around you who love and support you. Talk to people, express your emotions and you'll feel so much better than if you carry it all up bottled inside you. You can't make it alone, your life will be richer, happier and simply better when you learn to share it really truthfully and honestly with those whom you love.
What are the things you do in your life to keep yourself sane and happy? We'd love to hear!
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